Oh, hello demons. Welcome back.

Three and a half miles, done and dusted.

The good:

  • 3.5 miles without stopping.
  • Felt like I could have gone a little longer and a little faster.
  • Didn’t get too hung up on the demon thoughts that usually get me down when I start back up with running.

The demon thoughts:

I could be so much faster if I’d kept up with this. I’m so slow. I’ve always been slow, I’ll always be slow, I hate being slow. Dad used to run when we lived in La Habra and I was, what, 14 or 15 then, which made him mid- to late-30s and I’m twenty years older than that now, fuck me I’m so old. And slow. But at least I’m starting over. I hate starting over, but isn’t every day just starting over again.  Every run is starting over.  It’s just you’ve had a few months between runs.  You’ll be back on form in no time.  Or not. There’s no way I’ll be able to get through 13.1 miles at the same speed (or faster) that I did last year (technically less than a year ago) but that’s okay, the joy is in the accomplishment, not the time.  That’s such bullshit, who really believes that?  Tomorrow is supposed to be a pace run and I know there’s no way I can keep up a race pace for more than a couple miles, let alone 5 of them, so we’re already going to have to modify the plan.  And that’s okay, but wouldn’t it be better if I were already in running  mode and could just stick with the plan rather than having to worry about it (do you really “have to” worry about it, Bob?  Is some one making you worry about it?  Give yourself a break.  Fuck off, voice of reason, these are demon thoughts, not be reasonable thoughts. You know, if you paid more attention to this book you’re allegedly listening to, you might have time for all these thoughts. ADHD running club, rules are rules.

You know, those kinds of demon thoughts.

And then the big one, which maybe I’ll write about another time.

 Why do you have to have all these goals and tracking systems and gadgets?  Can’t you just go out and run and enjoy it?


Distance 3.51
Distance to date 3.51
Route: up the beach and back, half way between end of beach and beginning of Park Forum
Listening to: “Things we Lost in the Fire”

60 days to go

Cross-train (not to be confused with Crossfit)

Yonder program says today is a x-train day, and the weather is a bit shit, so it was off to Cool Cycling for a spin class.

Yonder Fitbit says it was a decent workout.  500 calories in less than an hour.  I told Will (yonder instructor) we should aim for un mil calorías during the class, but I guess I’m happy with half of that. 😉

Yeah, I could have gone to the gym or done something on my one. But here’s the thing about going to a class:  I end up working harder than I would if I were doing something solo.  And when I thought I’d my limit today, he nudged me on not only with the usual ¡aguanta!, but today there was, “Sí, puedes, Bob … puedes.”

I wan’t so sure, but it seems he knew better.

I felt a little bad about going today, knowing I’d be the only one in the class, but turns out a 1-2-1 spin class isn’t so bad. He’s working as hard as I am (not like a trainer who you pay to count and hand you weights, not that there’s anything wrong with that.   I don’t mind teaching 1-2-1; in fact, I enjoy those classes.  But when you’re expecting a group and there’s only one person … it can be a weird dynamic.

But there we were, and the task was before us.  Work hard, feel like dying, feel better for doing it once it’s over.

Afterwards, he told me he enjoys the classes with only one or two students.  Why?  He says he gets the chance to really focus on them and pay attention to how they’re doing and what they need.

So, thanks for the focus. It was the hardest I’ve  been pushed in a spin class here in Barcelona, and he upped the choreography from what I have had in other sessions.  I guess he’ll be teaching Zumba spin soon.  Y’all come and watch me spin right off of yonder bike. Comedy cardio.

61 days to go.  I guess I actually will have to get out and run tomorrow.

The starting line

The world does not need another blog.

I do not need to run another half-marathon.

However …

I feel fat.  I feel like I’ve lost my running mojo (given that I’m not running).  I feel like I’ve lost my writing mojo (given that I’m not really writing anything).

A friend asked me the other day if I was still running. I had to stop and thing when the last time I was actually, you know, running.  I guess it was the beginning of Ptown last summer, when I had ALL the intentions of training for the fall 10Ks that waited for me when I came home to Barcelona.

All those intentions.  None of those finish lines.

So here it is, the end of the year and I’m thinking of starting back to the running thing … because spinning and padel don’t seem to be keeping the belly away, and portion control is just, well, silly.  Plus, I hate New Year’s resolutions, so it’s good to get into new (old) habits before everyone jumps on the bandwagon.

For now, all I’ll commit to is to try to stick to a modified version of the plan for the next few weeks. It’s a 12-week plan, and I’ll have to start with week 3, so that’s not great.  Vamos a ver.

When I get come home from Andalusia after the holidays, I’ll decide if I’m actually going to sign up for the race.

35 minutes on the treadmill today.  A bit of a warm up then intervals at a 2’10” pace (which is ridiculous, given that  I ran last years at 2’16” and haven’t really done anything since of note since the middle of summer.

It’s 62 days away.

So much can happen between now and then.

Away we go.